The bits at the start of the book
After eight years of procrastination I'm finally writing my book, The Rebel's Guide To Getting Married: The Intentional Wedding, and I'm writing it live and in public here on my blog. Subscribe to get chapters as they go live.
This book is dedicated to Luna and Goldie. All of this work is so you can grow up in a better world.
Self-assessment at the start
I boldly and humbly believe that the secret to a better world is better weddings. Not bigger weddings, or more expensive weddings, or budget weddings, but better weddings. My wife’s grandmother used to say that you should start how you want to finish, so if you start your marriage free of tradition and expectation, liberated from family entitlement and everything friends might weigh in with, then you are starting your marriage with intent. So better weddings make better marriages, better marriages make better families, better families make better local communities, better communities make better towns and cities, better cities make better countries, and that’s how we make the world a better place.
So if you’d like to join me and make the world a better place, plus have an amazing wedding filled with purpose, intention, beauty and meaning while you’re at it, then this is the book for you.
Hi, my name is Josh Withers. My personality lends itself to becoming obsessed about metrics it is allowed to become obsessed with, so I’ve never counted my weddings or couples married before. Having been an authorised Australian Commonwealth Marriage Celebrant since 2009, full-time since 2013, and looking at my travel statistics in Flighty saying I’ve spent over two months in the air for 677 flights through 21 countries and 56 airports, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve married thousands of people around the world.
I’ve been featured in the New York Times, on Married at First Sight, and everyone’s favourite piece of internet-based toilet paper, the Daily Mail.
But aside from having the in the game, my greatest talent is that I’ve never been married to the status quo. Whereas most people seem content with doing something because that’s how it’s always been done, I’m addicted to asking “why?” and investigating if there are better ways to be human.
I’m an ’81 baby born on Australia’s Gold Coast where I married my fascinating wife, Britt in 2012. Since then we’ve overdosed on the magic of running our own creative enterprises, me as a celebrant and celebrant mentor, and Britt in The Elopement Collective. Although we’re Australians we’re currently adventuring in Mexico and I’m writing this book in a small fishing village called El Pescadero, near Todos Santos, in Baja California Sur, Mexico. Britt and I are proud to call ourselves the parents of Luna and Goldie, and I’m writing this book so one day when those girls get married it won’t be weird for them to get married on a Tuesday at 5pm wearing colourful clothes and a mariachi band.
My entire inspiration for becoming a celebrant, and then writing this book, is the simple fact that after growing up in a series of divorces - directly with my own parents and around me in family - I've quite simply decided that marriage matters. Getting married matters, being married matters, and staying married matters, and this is my humble effort towards those simple thoughts.