Marriage Monday: On joint bank accounts

Marriage Monday: On joint bank accounts

Joint bank accounts for engaged, or newly married couples, can be a tipping point into full commitment, but you don’t have to have joint bank accounts, or do you? Mediator, Anabel Newton, from the Happy Couples Blueprint joins the blog today with a guest video blog answering that question: to joint bank account, or to not joint bank account? Enjoy!

Ashley asks:

[quote]I’ve been married for 5 years and we have always had separate bank accounts. My best friend is getting married and this came up and she was shocked that we didn’t have joint accounts. She’s convinced my husband must be hiding something – now I’m paranoid.[/quote]

To join or not to join… bank accounts – is that the real question?

There are a couple of things that need to be addressed in your question. You say that you have been married for five years and you have separate accounts and judging by what you have written – you didn’t have any problems with that until you had a friend who decided to make commentary about it.

One, be careful of who you’re listening to – people have a lot of opinions about how you should or shouldn’t manage your finances (and frankly, every other thing in your relationship) – that is very private and very much dependant on your situation. For a number of reasons people choose to have joint or separate or a combination of the two and none of that says anything about whether or not your partner is cheating, or you have a secret stash, or whether or not that’s even a bad thing. It all just depends on the communication that you have with your partner.

Why do you have separate bank accounts?

Is that something that you established at the beginning of your relationship? Or is it something that you just never really addressed? You need to sit down with your partner and talk about it. Is it something that you think, for a practical reason, should change? Maybe it would be easier if you had joint accounts, maybe you should have joint account for paying bills – again, the most important thing is: don’t let outside people make you nervous about the choices and decisions you’ve made in your relationship based on not much information.

Your friend is sounding like they’re getting married which is really wonderful and they’re in the euphoria of that and they’ve probably romanticised what that means and that’s wonderful for them but that may not apply to you guys so be careful what you are listening to. Ask yourself “why do we even have separate bank accounts – is it because we just never thought of doing anything different?” then look into it.

I’ve put down some resources about finances that you can check out: some websites that talk about how you can manage your finances. Again, don’t listen to your bad friend (kidding!) just be careful of friends that comment – people say things that aren’t always helpful.

What would you say to Ashley? Do you have a way of dealing with finances in your relationship that could help? Please leave a comment below – just make sure its helpful advice!