What are weddings for?

What are weddings for?

What is a wedding for? Is it for getting married? Surely it’s more than that, because the legal simple act of getting married only requires 120 words and five signatures.

Is a wedding for the couple? Is it for the family? What is a wedding for?

We could keep on asking questions but then this column would read more like a trivia quiz than an encouraging article on getting married in an intimate and personal fashion.

But before you spend a dime on planner, celebrant, photographer, or venue, I hope that you’ve had a good talk about that opening question. What is your wedding for?

I’d encourage you to look at the wedding as a branding exercise. In marketing agencies they would call it a brand activation. An opportunity for you as a couple to take the stand, make a statement, boldly pronounce to the world who you are. And maybe as you’ve read that you have realised that you don’t even know who you are. And I’m realising that this article has gotten way deeper than we ever intended, but that’s where we’ve ended up, wading in the deep end trying to get to the end of the aisle in one piece and with a smile.

My simple hope for you and your wedding is that you stop and think about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.

Don’t do or buy a single thing in your wedding because your friend at work asked if you have thought about it but instead ask yourself what is your wedding for, and if it’s about you, who you are. What do you enjoy and how do you and your people celebrate.

If your own personal “brand activation” involves a small crowd of eight, or a more intimate celebration of 200 including second cousins, but let it be that because you’ve decided what this wedding is for and how you and your partner celebrates.

Anything other kind of event is a rip off, not financially, but emotionally. This is your chance to step away from your family and make your mark as a couple, and if your wedding comes and goes and you don’t know what it’s for, you might as well buy a wedding dress and wear it at your next catchup with everyone over burgers.