What would have married people changed about their wedding?

What would have married people changed about their wedding?

Hindsight, the understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed.

You mathematically, scientifically, cannot get wedding hindsight until after your wedding. But that doesn’t stop other people sharing theirs.

On Reddit the question was posed “Married people of the Internet, if you got to do your wedding again, what is one thing you would’ve planned differently? What is one thing you would never have changed?”. I also posed the question on Facebook and Twitter, and present below, everyone’s answers. If you’re a married person please weigh in with your changes in the comments below.

[quote]I would have planned a bit more of a comprehensive list of shots I wanted from the photographer. I loved the pictures we ended up getting, but there’s definitely a few I ended up forgetting I wanted. – danaadaugherty[/quote]

[quote]Remind the reception venue 2 more times that we want Carlton Draught, not VB – @thesongnerd[/quote]

[quote]Allow for a lot of wiggle-room and extra time in your wedding-day schedule. Everything will take longer than you think. Our venue charged by the hour, so we tried to fit everything (ceremony, photos, food, dancing) into 6 hours to save money, and it definitely wasn’t enough. We ended up feeling really rushed the whole time, had to leave dinner early to take photos before the sun set (and didn’t get as many photos as we wanted), and had to end the party before people were really ready. Even just one extra hour would have helped. So even if it costs more for more time, its worth it! You’re already spending so much to have the perfect wedding, so don’t rush it. – findMyWay[/quote]

[quote]I’d have fewer guests. But marry the same person 😉 – @beyondbeeton[/quote]

[quote]I was hesitant about getting a live band instead of a DJ (husband’s choice) but they were the life of the party! Way better than any DJ could have been – danaadaugherty[/quote]

[quote]I would pick a different photographer. It really sucks too… we did our homework. We researched, asked to see photos in dim light (our wedding was in a cave, so dim light was a reality), we asked references, we did an engagement shoot. All great!! Got our pictures back, and weren’t totally pleased. Damn it I am so so pissed and upset about this, to this day (5 months later). What would I have never changed?? A lot of things! But two big ones! Our location. It freaking ROCKED. It was 5.5 hrs from my husbands home, 8 hrs from mine, 3 hrs from where we lived. It was a huge inconvenience for everyone, and we knew it. I apologized profusely over and over and over. But the day of, while the wedding was happening, so many people came up to me and said “NOW we get it.. NOW we get why you chose here.” and it was awesome!. The second thing that I would have NEVER changed that you can plan in.. we did that Shoe Game thing that’s made the rounds on pinterest and this site. OH MY GOSH IT WAS SUCH A HIT!!!!!!! We talked about it for weeks afterward and my family still talks about it, it was so much fun! – elsynkala[/quote]

[quote]The one thing I wish I would have done differently was at the reception. I wish I would have asked one of my girls to make sure I had a glass of water every once in a while. I got a little smashed. – racyKasten[/quote]

[quote]Should have had someone pack up a ton of food for us. Barely got to sit down before we were being ushered to the next event. I chose the dang cake because it was amazing and I only got one bite :'( – LuckyNumberFour[/quote]

[quote]Get a better celebrant who listened to what we wanted. He decided where it was best to stand for the day when the photographer and myself had told him elsewhere and he thought he knew better. – Michelle[/quote]

[quote]The one thing I regret is that my mom and mother in law weren’t there for the getting ready photos. It was a timing and logistical issue. I should have asked them to get dressed after the salon appointments, but they went to the venue to set up stuff and had to go back to the hotel to get ready. – denganzenabend[/quote]

[quote]The only thing I’d change is pretty simple: asking the photographer to get a good shot of each of the tables of people. I got a group shot of everyone, but I can’t see everyone’s face, and I wanted desperately to have a good picture of everyone that day. – neurosciencey[/quote]

[quote]I would change some people on the guest list and of course I wouldn’t change my choice of wife – Matthew[/quote]

[quote]I wish I’d have looked at the audience more, both as i walked down and during the ceremony, but i couldn’t take my eyes off my husband! Also, my photographer was great, but i didn’t get a lot of basic shots that I’d assumed she would have gotten without me telling her, like my husband and his mom. She will never stop complaining about that (my mother in law, that is!). Don’t be afraid to even give your photographer a list of the basic shots you want! – bitch_please[/quote]

[quote]I would have gone smaller, would not have allowed in-laws to pay for such a substantial amount of wedding which then allowed them to think they could dictate terms such as who could and could not participate in the wedding. Wife’s parents split up in acrimonious divorce when she was very young but still hate each other… the planning process, getting the two sides to both participate and all that was a minefield and one side paid much more than the other and there was resentment. – wedding_regrets[/quote]

[quote]One thing I would change is my wedding dress in the end I really wish I went with ivory and not pink and made sure my son was in the photos, I wasn’t impressed that photographer didnt make sure he was in photos and the thing I wouldn’t change is our cake it was amazing we had doughnuts – Mandie[/quote]

[quote]I would have hired a ‘day of’ coordinator/consultant to handle the details on the day of. Everything turned out great, but it was super stressful dealing with a family member who took over and wasn’t doing it the way I had planned. Even on our tiny ($6,000) budget, I think it would have been worth it. – AncientArch[/quote]

[quote]I would have come up with a different schedule for photos. I feel like my whole wedding day was devoted to going to different locations and taking photos, and while they came out amazing I would have liked to spend more time just being chill with my mom and my bridesmaids before the wedding. – drladybug[/quote]

[quote]I would change our bridal party – Melissa[/quote]

[quote]I would have taken more pictures, and left more time to do them. Our photographer was great, but I wish there were more pictures. It may have been worth it two hire a second photographer, because while our pictures were great, one photographer can’t be everywhere. (Or have specifically asked guests to take pictures). I would also have come up with a list of specific pictures I wanted. – AncientArch[/quote]

[quote]I would do something more relaxed – Lisa[/quote]

[quote]There are a few things I would never change…I had bridesmen in my bridal party and that was a fantastic decision! We also didn’t have traditional bachelor/bachelorette party. We did a cabin trip with the wedding party (and significant others). It was a great opportunity for all of them to hang out and get comfortable with each other. They had a great time, and they were happy to see each other again for the rehearsal and wedding! – denganzenabend[/quote]

[quote]I would have done this differently: ask your photographer for pictures of people similar to you. I am overweight. I adored the pictures of his I saw, but looking at my own pictures, I’m pretty sure he had no idea how to appropriately handle my weight. There are certain angles that just aren’t attractive when you carry a few extra pounds and he seemed hell bent on us posing in every one of them. It later occurred to me that not one of his several hundred posted pictures was of someone overweight. – Dreamer06[/quote]

[quote]3 things that I would change, looking back. I would have spent the little bit of extra money to have people from the venue help with set up and tear down instead of counting on friends and family to do it. I would have had different people do the food. We paid family friends to do it. It was good, but they had someone back out of helping at the last minute and they didn’t plan well enough so the food took awhile to get out to the buffet and it wasn’t as good as it could have been. I would have made a list of specific pictures that I wanted from my photographer. She was great, but there were a couple of shots that I would have loved. –  nire_colleen[/quote]

[quote]My wedding was awesome, I loved it and it was surprisingly smooth on the day of. I was really worried setup would go wrong, but my aunt and my dad really stepped up for me and handled it all. I seriously barely even had to speak to the vendors. It helped that I made a list of all vendors contact info, all important people (parents, wedding party, helpers) contact info and a rough itinerary and handed it out to all my vendors and everyone else before hand. I didn’t even have an official rehearsal. It was literally just like “Hey here’s the park it’s at, chairs will go here and music starts here. K lets go get pizza!” I guess both of my two complaints are really just about being more explicit in what you want. I would have explicitly informed my MIL that the kids she was in charge of needed to be at the ceremony prep site with me an hour before, NOT pulling up with her 20 minutes before the ceremony. I thought it was something I made clear to her when I told her the wedding party would be getting ready with me. She ended up bringing my last flowergirl and ring boy way late, I didn’t get any pre-wedding pics with them and I didn’t get to put on my ring boy’s tie like I was planning. It seems like a minor detail, but it was literally the ONLY thing that went wrong before the ceremony and it stressed me out. I also sort of regret not being a little more firm with my extended family on the day of. I very specifically did NOT want to do a money dance, because I did not want money taped to me and my husband like we were strippers. When my more traditional family insisted, I said ok BUT only if the best man and maid of honor collected the money on the edge of the dance floor, and no one pinned it. Everyone agreed except my freaking Aunt Gloria, who just HAD to pin the 20 to my husbands vest, ruining the only good picture I have of him and his Grandma. I was trying to avoid being confrontational, because I didn’t want to ruin my own day but now whenever I look at the picture I get mad again. On the flip-side, don’t stress yourself out over the small details. My cousin got married months before me and nearly went gray making sure every fucking thing was the same fucking color of teal on her stupid swatch. She drove all of us nuts. For my wedding, I wasn’t super strict about the shades, as long as everything was similar and matching and went with the theme. She seriously looked at me like I was crazy but I’m glad I didn’t worry because everything still looked awesome on the day of and no one cared that the napkins and the ribbon on the centerpieces were different shades of gray. no one cared. This was extreme budget wedding and I loved it. I’m going to go look at the pictures now. – PsuedoNom[/quote]

[quote]If I had to do the same wedding over again… I’d learn how to dance and I’d make sure we got more pictures of us at the reception… also I’d like to have been able to talk to everyone more at the reception, but that’s just how those things go I guess. Oh, I wouldn’t have paid for those 5 extra people when even a good chunk of those who bothered to RSVP that they were definitely coming didn’t bother showing up. Also would have made sure my dad’s wife and her friend (who shouldn’t have been there anyway) weren’t over in the corner chugging my wine straight out of the bottles. If I could do the wedding over any way I wanted… I’d save a little more and go off to Ireland or somewhere or at least Washington or Colorado or somewhere pretty and rustic-ish like that and take our parents, grandparents, photographer, and no one else with us. Not that I didn’t enjoy my wedding. It was beautiful and there were no major mishaps with it… it just wasn’t really me in the end. I’m not the super emotional type and I don’t care much for being the center of attention. That said, I am glad that I was able to have all of my close friends and family there. That’s the whole reason I agreed to that type of wedding in the first place. I don’t think I would have been upset not to have it like that though. The months and months leading up to it would have been much less stressful and much more enjoyable if we had just gone off somewhere else to get married. – fritopie[/quote]

[quote]Check for any events near our venue that could lead to blocked roads. I had myself and my 5 bridesmaids be the only ones that could get to the venue (we were way early) before apparently some event happened and it blocked the roads. We had to do all the table setup and heavy lifting, one of my bridesmaids was even 9 months pregnant rolling a 72″ table (I did NOT want her to do this, FYI, she just ended up doing it and refusing to not help god love her). Finally the men showed up to help but we were dirty and sweaty by then and most of the tables had already been rolled out and setup. It was absolutely nuts and I ended up crying in a corner freaking out before anyone else got there because I was so upset. – thepynkmynx[/quote]

[quote]I would have definitely planned for a longer reception, I too felt the whole thing was rushed. With all my family and my wife’s family I would have made room in my budget for another photographer. The one we had captured some amazing shots, but missed quite a few too. Oh, before I forget..ALWAYS shell out the money for a dj/band. Your friend or cousin who was a “DJ” is not gonna cut it. The one thing I wouldn’t change would definitely be the cake we got. It was a bit more expensive than others we looked at but the detail alone made it worth the price. (It was delicious to boot). – VVarmaniac[/quote]

[quote]I would have taken pictures with each bridesmaid separately. I would have set a time limit on pastors sermon/speaking time and made ceremony a lot quicker. I would have stood closer to guests seating in ceremony rather than sitting up on a stage where lights are too hot and gotten lighter/smaller bouquets to hold because ours were rather heavy. – BMay4[/quote]

[quote]There really isn’t much I would have done differently. I loved our wedding. The only thing that comes to mind first, and this is so minor, is that I would have provided slightly more instruction to folks at the reception about the placement of the photobooth. It was mostly black and so it mostly blended into the background, but the giant trunk of hats and such was super colorful and where it was placed, it ended up in the background of lot of first dance, mother-son, father-daughter dance shots. Not a huge deal, and it didn’t ruin any photos, but something no one really noticed until after the fact. I also would have taken more casual shots with my mom. I have a ton of shots of my dad and I, because we shared a dance. But I wish I had gotten more with my mom. – dreadpiraterose[/quote]

[quote]I would have gone to help my family set up for the ceremony. we had it in a field and it wasn’t set up the way I wanted it and it made me cry right before the ceremony. I would have paid for a professional photographer. I just had my cousin do it and i didn’t get any of the photos i wanted. I would have stayed at the ceremony place for more photos. I would have had every one put their name on envelopes to make sending thank you cards easier. – Lady_Bug_Love[/quote]

[quote]I would have gone with a more professional DJ, one that was more well practiced. Sure, we saved money by using one ‘breaking into the business’, but he totally sucked. I also would never have let my FMIL do my dress alterations. Yes we saved money by letting her do it, but she left a LOT of it till the last minute. So instead of doing set up and being with my family and friends and making final decisions, etc, I was traped in FMILs hotel room, stuck in that dress. The only altering she had done was fitting the bodice. She had to cut of more than a foot in the front and pin up all the under layers, and didn’t bustle my train like she said she would. I was super pissed. It messed up my timeline and people were impatient and frustrated because I wasn’t available. – rainbow-sailor[/quote]

[quote]This sounds kind of bad–but i would have spent less time thanking people for coming and trying to say hi to everybody-and instead spent more time experiencing my wedding . I am so grateful that all of our family was there and i really wanted to be able to talk with everyone however i felt like it took away from the time i got to have fun at my own wedding. Something to consider for yours – starryeyedgirl23[/quote]

What would have you changed in your wedding – or do you disagree with any of these former brides and grooms? Comment below.