Clearing the air on elopements

Clearing the air on elopements
Catherine and Calvin in Yosemite with The Elopement Collective and Bulb Creative, and me!

Writing this chapter prompted me on a future book, The Rebel's Guide to Eloping. There's so much confusion around weddings and elopements I've now committed myself to writing two books. Lord knows how many will come after that.

As always, your comments and reviews are welcome as I write this book in public, it's how a rebel does things, out from under the shadows, in the full light of day.

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If you're just joining us now, read the earlier chapter on how people like you get married, or start at the start.

A chapter on elopements

This is a short note on elopements because I have a whole other book I’m writing on the whole deal, but in planning a wedding I wanted to be sure about how a wedding is different to an elopement.

An elopement is not a wedding. An elopement is not a small wedding, an intimate wedding, a micro wedding, or an elopement wedding.

A wedding is a wedding, and you’re not going to believe this, an elopement is an elopement.

Here is how they differ:

  • A wedding is an event you host for your favourite people. Although you have professionals doing the hosting, it’s an event you host and invite people to. As much as it’s your wedding, it’s for them.
  • An elopement is for you. Other people, like close friends and family, might attend, but it’s not for them. An elopement is more like a birthing space. Not everyone gets an invite, it’s a sacred and intimate space where we craft a marriage without the spotlight and the pizzazz.

Both are great options, but you can’t fit a wedding into an elopement and you can’t stretch an elopement into a wedding. They are different events with different purposes and different intentions.

You probably already know if one or the other is for you, it’s not for me to move you either way. That’s our commitment at The Elopement Collective, my wife’s elopement company. We actively turn people away because they don’t want to elope, they maybe want to spend less on a wedding, or they might want to buy a packaged wedding. Those people are who I’m writing this book for, if you’re going to have a wedding, have an intentional wedding.

An elopement would be one of the most intentional getting-married decisions you can make, but it’s not a wedding.

Now we've set a solid foundation, it's on to step one, the next chapter, fleshing out your intentions assembling a team!
Have you considered running away from a wedding to elope? Comment with your thoughts on what it would look like to elope.
Josh Withers

Josh Withers

The original rebel, husband, father, nerd and also a marriage celebrant for the world's most adventurous couple getting married today.
Baja California Sur, Mexico