What's in a name when you're married?

In Australia we are blessed to be able to call ourselves whatever we generally would like to be called - like me saying my name is Josh when it's actually Joshua Daniel Withers - but there are certain occasions where you need to identify yourself by your full legal name.

A marriage ceremony is one of those times.

At least once you need to be identified by your full legal name in your Australian marriage ceremony, and also on your paperwork, which leads us to the point of this letter.

Changing your name in marriage

When you exchange those legal vows in your marriage ceremony you become married according to the law, not when I pronounce you, or when you sign the paperwork, but when you exchange vows.

At that time of you exchanging vows, you have some new options:

1. Leaving your name as is. It's fine.
2. Taking your spouses last name. Weirdly you could both take each others last name, but generally one of you might take the other's.
3. Hyphenating with your spouse's last name.

Other options

Personally, I long for the opportunity to have a mononym - just call me Josh - like Stilgherrian talked about on ABC Radio.

You can also start a new family name - this just requires at least one of you before your marriage, or both of you after, to go to the Births, Deaths, and Marriages and change your name.

And don't stress, Britt didn't legally change her name for years, the important to remember is that it doesn't matter what you think your name is, whatever your ID says your name is, is what you book flights under.

Note from Josh:

For the celebrants and officiants around the world that are part of the 5000+ community of rebels interested in making awesome weddings, I am writing a new daily letter for you called Aisle Authority.

💍 Josh Withers is an Australian wedding celebrant based in Hobart who travels the world every week creating meaningful, fun, and honest marriage ceremonies for adventurous couples just like you.

📱 Follow Josh on Instagram, Threads, Facebook, Mastodon, Micro.Blog, or in a Qantas airport lounge somewhere.