A common complaint about me from friends is that I'm not here to swipe right on spiders.

Life's short and I'm interested in doing meaningful and interesting work before I trot off to my funeral so I don't mess around. The best example of this is when Britt and I became engaged six weeks after we started dating.

There are two types of people that move fast. People with a plan, and people that have plans made about them. Although I know not the plans you all have for me, I have a plan, and it's simply based around having firm values.

Ten years ago I wrote those down on my then wedding blog dubbed 'No More Shit Weddings, The Blog" and it now only lives on in Archive.org's Wayback Machine.

Scouring that blog this morning whilst eating breakfast in the Mercure Doncaster getting ready for a Lui and Hayley's wedding this afternoon I found this old gem that just turned ten: my stated values in 2014.

I thought they might be due for an update...

My values

I've got this thing where I don’t like to do business with people that don’t have the same values as me. It just means that there’s less awkward moments in life. I’d never really stated these, and for all I know they might change or evolve, but since October 2014, this is what they have looked like:

A wedding is but one day, a marriage is for life

We’re doing life stuff here. It’s not a show, or a keeping-up-with-the-Jones ordeal; this is real, awesome, authentic life.

Two people are getting married

It’s not “the girl’s day” or something “she/he wanted to do” – this is a union which equally involves both parties.

Authentic wedding > any other wedding

There’s an authenticity, a real slice of reality, required in a wedding to get my blood pumping. We can take inspiration from everyone and everywhere, but on the day it’s your wedding, no-one else’s.

Wedding Marketing

If a wedding magazine approaches me about advertising but it hasn’t talked about authentic wedding ceremonies in a recent issue, I’ll probably not advertise.

And if a wedding website is all about the bride, the bride, the bride, then I’ll probably decline the invite to be involved because they’ve forgotten the groom.

Wedding Vendors

And if a wedding vendor ever forgets that we’re simply lucky enough to be involved in a business that helps two kids celebrate their union and their love for each other, then I’ll probably not recommend them.

It’s the simple things in life where we often get stuck.

2024 Addition: Communication is paramount

What we say matters. What I say matters.

99% of wedding dramas - like this one over the foolish Byron Bay wedding venue, Tides, that's blowing up this weekend on WeddingTok - could be avoided if communication was improved. Not just what you say, but only saying what you mean, standing by what you said, taking notes on what you said, honouring what has been said.

For vendors, venues, and couples alike.

Communication is paramount, without it we're on TikTok or A Current Affair and looking like fools.

So all I ask is that if you're a couple of mine, ask all the stupid questions and even the good ones.

If you're a vendor or venue, get on the phone to me, it's 0411 849 404.

I promise to do the same with you. I can tell countless stories where I've done the right thing at my own expense because doing the right thing is the right thing. I might be poorer financially but I can sleep at night knowing I'm rich in my soul.

And if I did that for you, please tell the world, take 2 minutes to leave a review, or tell a friend who's getting married that you know a pretty good celebrant.

💍 Josh Withers is an Australian wedding celebrant based in Hobart who travels the world every week creating meaningful, fun, and honest marriage ceremonies for adventurous couples just like you.

📱 Follow Josh on Instagram, Threads, Facebook, Mastodon, Micro.Blog, or in a Qantas airport lounge somewhere.