Life happens at weddings

There are two very distinct vectors of activity in the wedding world. Both are acceptable, awesome, and fine, but it's important to figure out which path you're on and fully embrace it.

They're easily identifiable:

1. Our wedding is a community affair.
2. Our wedding is a private affair.

Typically, the first group opts for a wedding, and the second for an elopement. The lines can blur, sometimes involving a small group of friends and family in an elopement, or keeping a wedding intimate. However, it's not about size; it's about intention.

Today, I want to address the first group: the wedding-goers, the community-focused.

I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that you've chosen a wonderful way to celebrate your marriage. You're essentially saying, "When people like us get married, we're surrounded by all these people," and you take on the role of host. Hosting such a crowd incurs appropriate costs—imagine feeding them all from your home kitchen, let alone at the grand and beautiful wedding you're planning.

The bad news is that life happens at weddings. You're bringing together all your loved ones—sometimes two or more circles of them. Friends become family, and new friendships are forged. People are messy, and there's no doubt that mistakes will be made. Expect lots of dancing, feelings, stories, tears, and memories. Without a doubt, you'll invite some who will do unexpected things; it's all somewhat beautiful and odd.

And here’s my best advice—better than any you’ll find on blogs or Pinterest inspiration boards: let it all happen and enjoy the ride.

Imagine your wedding as a wave crashing over you. Enjoy the sensation of the water slamming against you as the wave breaks. Feel every drop slide down your skin. Smile after the wave has crashed, leaving you soaked from head to toe, and know you wouldn't have it any other way.

Neither you nor I, as your celebrant, can make it anything other than what it is. Sure, you can make plans, book the right vendors, secure that swan ice sculpture, and the magician, but ultimately, you’ve brought together your community—as wild and chaotic as they are—and reiterated that when people like us get married, we do things like this.

💍 Josh Withers is an Australian wedding celebrant based in Hobart who travels the world every week creating meaningful, fun, and honest marriage ceremonies for adventurous couples just like you.

📱 Follow Josh on Instagram, Threads, Facebook, Mastodon, Micro.Blog, or in a Qantas airport lounge somewhere.