How to stop your wedding guests falling asleep in the ceremony

A couple sat down with me recently with a major problem. The last wedding they went to was really embarrassing for the grandfather of that wedding’s bride as he fell asleep in the middle of the ceremony.

They wanted to desperately make sure that no-one fell asleep in the ceremony we were creating. Below is what I told them, and hopefully, it can help you.

How to stop people falling asleep mid-wedding

• Do meaningful, valuable, things in your wedding ceremony. People lose interest in TV shows, books, ceremonies, staff meetings, when they do not value or understand the thing being made in front of them. A practical example of this is a sand ceremony. Sorry if you love sand ceremonies but I just don’t know what they mean, if you find meaning in them then let’s do one!
• Involve the people witnessing the ceremony in a greater way than purely witnessing the ceremony. If your sole job is to stand still and watch something, you’ll fall asleep quicker than a donut wall being demolished at the reception. So get your witnesses, your guests, family and friends involved. When I'm creating a ceremony I'll look for call out opportunities to the crowd to re-engage them with what's happening.
• The ceremony should use the Goldilocks principle in regards to timing: not to big, not too small, but just right. Practically speaking this means doing everything that’s required to celebrate your marriage, nothing more and nothing less. If that means the wedding ceremony goes for 5 minutes or 50, then it’s the right length.
• Change the seating. Studies of schools and places of education consistently show that the best seating plan for the highest levels of engagement in a classroom is the dome or circle configuration of seating, as opposed to the chapel or straight line seating config.
• Set yourself up for a standing ovation, by removing all of the seats. Standing people are more alert and aware than sitting people.
• Adjust the timing. Your ceremony does not have to be at 3pm on a Saturday. Choose any other time across the whole week. Hold the ceremony inside the reception. Get married at sunrise … or sunset, whatever dawns on you :)
• Simply ask guests to participate. At the start of every wedding I officiate at I’ll invite the guests to yell, scream, clap, cheer, make some noise at the really cool thing that is happening. After all, getting married is the best thing two people can do together (in front of their parents) so it should be celebrated! Not witnessed silently!

I’m sure there’s ten million other ideas on how to keep everyone awake, but the first step is to get a really cool celebrant. If you’re looking for one, I know a guy.

💍 Josh Withers is an Australian wedding celebrant based in Hobart who travels the world every week creating meaningful, fun, and honest marriage ceremonies for adventurous couples just like you.

📱 Follow Josh on Instagram, Threads, Facebook, Mastodon, Micro.Blog, or in a Qantas airport lounge somewhere.