Dear Weddings, It’s Not 2004 Anymore

A gravelly, primal "Noooo, that’s not right, surely!" escapes my lips whenever someone says, "Yeah, 2004, that was ten years ago." In my mind, “10 years ago” was more like 1995. I still ask people what they did for NYE in 1999 and don’t judge them if they were genuinely concerned about Y2K. We all were.

I don't know how neon snuck back into fashion, but since 1995 is apparently much further away than I thought, the Cher Horowitz spaghetti-strap-singlet-over-T-shirt style is probably just around the corner. Exciting times ahead!

But here’s the thing: in the world of weddings, things move a little slower. Trends seem to hang around longer, and once they start, they're everywhere.

If you think your carnival-inspired wedding with a photo-booth, popcorn cones, and a hot dog stand is edgy and new, well, that trend actually kicked off about twenty years ago.

So why do we think we’re so original? It’s mostly because when you’re engaged, you’re only really planning your wedding within a specific window of time. For most people, the whole wedding planning phase is fresh and new territory. Unless, of course, you're like my friend’s sister-in-law-to-be, whose wedding is on hold due to their brother’s brutal and ever-changing FIFO roster. They've been engaged for years, but they'll get there eventually.

Before you're engaged, thumbing through a blog or a bridal magazine at the newsagent feels a bit like sneaking a glance at someone else’s diary. And after the wedding? Well, that’s just plain "newly-wed masochism," comparing your own wedding to the 'real weddings' you see online. You heard it here first.

However, despite the fact that 2004 feels like it was just yesterday, wedding trends have evolved significantly. Brides back then didn’t have Pinterest or smartphones, and they called mason jars simply ‘jars.’ The personalisation craze was limited to things like flowers shaped into the couple’s initials, and monogrammed peach-coloured towels were just on their way out.

One of the biggest wedding trends around 2004 was something you hardly hear about today: disposable cameras. Every table had one, usually in obligatory white, and they were the height of mischief. The photos you got back were mostly out-of-focus, red-eyed, and nothing like the sleek, filter-heavy whimsy we’re accustomed to now on Instagram. But they were perfect ice-breakers.

Speaking of ice-breakers, how on earth did brides in 2004 save pictures of halter-necked gowns and bunches of gerberas without a ‘Pin It’ button? One of the handiest tools back then was a scalpel-like scrapbooking blade—scissors were for amateurs. The carefully cut-out pictures were then placed into a shoebox, concertina file, or scrapbook. These days, pretty much everything is organised virtually.

At least we still get a tactile invitation in the post, right? One trend that has gone the distance is the fridge magnet invite. It was sheer brilliance to get that rectangle, usually two-tone purple, home-guillotined invite that could stick straight to the fridge.

A couple of hours clicking through old wedding chat forums reveals the snapshot of that time:
- Chocolate fountains and biscuit bonbonniere were just starting to give way to cupcakes and macarons.
- Lolly buffets, though huge in the US, hadn’t yet made their way to Australia.
- The centrepieces were either tall, spindly twigs with fairy lights or square glass vases with floating candles.
- Real tans were still a thing, and brides' favourite second pair of shoes for dancing were white platform thongs or wedge espadrilles.
- Spanx hadn’t hit Oprah’s Favourite Things show yet, and vajazzling was just becoming part of the wedding lexicon.

So, what will we be poking fun at in ten years’ time? Will the signature cocktail served in a mason jar still be a thing? Will we ever tire of DIY-ing everything? And has the moustache-on-a-stick trend finished yet?

And just as hipsters revived the Polaroid, they might just bring back the disposable camera. When they do, remember—you heard it here first.

💍 Josh Withers is an Australian wedding celebrant based in Hobart who travels the world every week creating meaningful, fun, and honest marriage ceremonies for adventurous couples just like you.

📱 Follow Josh on Instagram, Threads, Facebook, Mastodon, Micro.Blog, or in a Qantas airport lounge somewhere.