14 hard lessons I've learnt in my first 3 months of marriage

14 hard lessons I've learnt in my first 3 months of marriage

Brittany and I are only a few hours away from jetting to Hobart (via Sydney to marry Andrew and Mel!) for our honeymoon, and I’m reflecting on the fact that when we get home, the earth will have completed one of it’s annual orbits around the sun since Britt and I “hooked up”.

It’s one year since I told her that I thought she was loved, by me.

We’d been friends for four years earlier, so I was pretty relieved to find out she thought I was tonnes hot as well. [I’m told tonnes is the cool word the kids are using these days. I just want to be hip and with it.]

Britt and I in Port Douglas, the morning after I proposed to her

In that time I’ve lived in five different cities, with both of us trying to find the right lifestyle we both want to lead, Britt has gone through two mobile phones calling me to find out which baby name I like the best, and we’ve only had five fights worth talking about! [Spoiler for the young ones: adults sometimes disagree on things or they sometimes have insecurities. Because of this, sometimes they fight.]

I’ve learnt fourteen very important lessons this past year, particularly in the last three months (having only just got married), the old-fashioned way: the hard way, so I thought you might like to learn them the easy way: by reading them in a blog.[hr]

1. Porn is incorrect. It’s not real at all. It pales in comparison.

Jesus loves porn stars

2. If a couple have a fight it’s not an automatic divorce. When my parent’s fought it was like taking a piece of Jenga out of the puzzle. When Britt fights it’s because things need to be communicated and figured out, or she hasn’t had food yet, one of the two.

Big Bang Theory playing Jenga

3. Different people like different things. For example, Britt likes NCIS and I like Community, we both like caramel lattes, but we both dislike Paul Henry on Ten Breakfast. Find things you both like and do them together.

Paul Henry - Ten Breakfast

4. I now know who I was broadcasting the celebrity goss segments for, all that time that I was on breakfast radio. Britt likes to know what the down-low is in Hollywood.

5. Flowers are the gaffer tape of the female world. They hold everything together. Yes, even relationships.

Wedding flowers

6. When married, you sometimes need to put the social network down and back away from the smartphone.

7. My wife has a name and it’s not “my wife”, though that does have a nice ring to it. Her mum calls her Britt.

Brittany Withers, my love

8. I am far more annoying than I ever gave myself credit for. For extra longevity in our relationship, I leave funny/smart-ass Josh at the front door of our apartment some nights.

9. Everyone’s family is abstruse. Not just yours.

10. She doesn’t hate me. I have the proof on my ring finger and she signed a contract! Plus she does nice things for me all the time!

Signing our registry

11. You have, but one day to get married, and a whole lifetime to get marriage.

12. If you walk to work, you get to listen to your own music for a little while.

13. Girls are nowhere as impressed by their body as men are. It’s all so normal to them.

14. She’s the most important thing in my life. For thirty years I’ve busied myself with partying, friends, work, radio, making a living, building websites, thinking of big ideas, podcasting, blogging, being a nerd, church, helping people, coffees, beers, flying around the country and going on big roadtrips. These are all nice things, but they are just nowhere near as important to me anymore.

Did I miss something? Join the conversation in the comments below.